The Seven Year Ick

Usually it's the traffic or the smog or the hipsters that'll get you in Los Angeles. Nope. The Things That Go Bump in the Dark, they're what'll get you.

"Absentia" (2011)
written and directed by Mike Flanagan
starring Katie Parker, Courtney Bell, Dave Levine, Justin Morgan, and Morgan Peter Brown

How Is It?
Low-key, atmospheric, moody, and well-made. It doesn't rush to get you anywhere, and though it can feel like it's moving a little slow here and there, it really isn't. The story is about pregnant Tricia (played by Courtney Bell) whose husband has been missing for seven years. Her prodigal sister Callie (played by Katie Parker) moves in with her for support, as the county is finally ready to declare Daniel, the missing husband, deceased. It should come as no surprise that things go awry. Rather than spectacle the film focuses on the characters, no cats jumping out of cupboards or other cheap scares. "Absentia" is a slow burn, an eerily slow but steady burn.

The Players
The acting is pretty solid all the way around. Parker and Bell have good chemistry playing the sisters, as do Levine and Gordon as the police detectives. Brown as husband Daniel, while not on-screen as much, gets to play the widest range and to great effect. There's not a lot to say on this end, really. Very human, engaging performances from all quarters.

Behind the Camera
Mike Flanagan wrote and directed. It's a tight, clean script, nuanced and interesting, as is the direction. The cinematography and editing are sharp and keep you interested, focused, and engaged throughout. No frills, though. Flanagan kept the look and feel simple and did so to great effect. The visuals complement the story and the acting, a very adept movie package. The movie has a personal, intimate feel, coupled with an uneasiness, an uncertainty and sense of things being somehow off-kilter the whole while. Economically and effectively eerie and subtly unsettling, and that's good horror.

The Verdict
It's a solid flick top to bottom and side to side. If you're in the market for gore and screaming and action and slashing, this one is not for you. "Absentia" is a smart movie, a very good movie indeed. Not only do I recommend it, I'm buying a copy for my personal collection.

You didn't see that coming, did you?

"Oculus" and "The Quiet Ones" don't deliver quiet what's expected. That works in one but alas, doesn't in another.

"Oculus" (2014)

You've seen this movie before... ish. It's the time-tested spooky story of kids with a terrible past going back to the scene of the crime to get to the truth and get even. Just this time the baddie is... well, it's a mirror. Karen Gillan stars in what looks like it should be a bog standard haunted house movie with cliches galore, and it is... and isn't. Yes, there are some key point in the film that avid horror movie fans see coming miles away, but it still works. "Oculus" is a pretty tight, well made, well performed, fairly well paced ghost story with a healthy dose of psychological horror in the mix. I was skeptical going into it and actually a bit surprised and pleased as the credits rolled. The movie doesn't reinvent anything in the genre. What's refreshing is it doesn't try to be something it isn't, and it tells its story very well. Hats off to all involved in the making of it. I quite liked it. It's well worth watching.

"The Quiet Ones" (2014)

I am still rather stuck on exactly how to put how this film doesn't work, except to say that it seems in it efforts to lead viewers to wonder "What really happened?" it simply made itself rather muddy. All the hallmarks of paranormal investigation movies are there, all the stock characters, scares, character arcs, and twists. It was distinctly Hammer, yes. It was just rather flat, unfortunately. I expected more.  Streamable, maybe rentable for the special features for hardcore Hammer/horror buffs.

Battlefield Moon

The guy that directed Battlefield Earth directed this. I'm sure for some that's review enough of any movie.

"Stranded" (2013)
directed by Roger Christian
written by Roger Christian and Christian Piers Bentley
starring Christian Slater, Amy Matysio, Michael Therriault, and Brendan Fehr

How Is It?
It's almost as if they kidnapped a Roger Corman sci fi movie from the early '80s but made it worse. No, really. It's derivative in every possible way, but what sets it apart from most of those films it attempted to parrot, it has no soul of its own. It's a hollow, drab, gray, uninteresting movie. (It's still not as bad as this one, though.)

The Players
This is the depressing part: The ensemble of four good actors got stuck with a bad script and a director with a very checkered track record. Nobody was written a character to play. The movie is about four cardboard cutouts stuck in a crippled mining base on the moon. Slater plays the typical base commander. Therriault plays the typical engineer with a drinking problem. Therriault plays the typical level-headed, logical medical officer. Matysio gets the most to draw from out of the gang. She gets to play both the brave, capable first officer as well as the damsel in distress. It's just that the writing is so bad, so flat that all of their characters have only as much dimension as the descriptions of them you just read.

Behind The Camera
Roger Christian is am industry recognized, award-winning set decorator and production designer. He directed the cult horror classic "The Sender" (1982) as well as the universally decried and derided "Battlefield Earth" (2000). So the sets in this movie looks good, as does the lighting. The moonbase exteriors and other miniatures work are quite good. For the just over $2 million the film was made for, it looks pretty good. Looks. The look of the movie is where all the money wound up. Not enough of it made it into script rewrites, which is as much of a shame as it is becoming more common in movies. The look of a movie is its frame, and the script is the picture, the colors, textures, brushstrokes, and theme. "Stranded" is a frame without anything inside.

The Verdict
It would have been a different movie, could have been a different movie, a good movie, if only the script wasn't so derivative, joyless, and boring and there was anything there to watch. Avoid.

Sometimes it's just best to quit while you're behind.

Rutger Hauer in a 3D re-imagining of "Dracula" with a decent dose of T&A could work but for one thing: Dario Argento.

"Argento's Dracula 3-D" (2012)
directed by Dario Argento
written by Dario Argento, Enrique Cerezo, Franco Paolucci, and Antonio Tentori
starring Thomas Kretschmann, Marta Gastini, Asia Argento, Unax Ugalde, Miriam Giovanelli, and Rutger Hauer

How Is It?
It's about as sophomorically substandard as you have come to expect from Dario Argento, alas. Plodding, dull, cheap-looking, and frequently painful to watch. This is one of the worst films I have ever seen.

The Players
It is so hard for me to write this, but it was disappointing all around. Kretschmann as Dracula came across bored, as if he was simply going through the motions. Asia Argento was dutifully in her dad's movie. Gastini and Ugalde were wooden, and Hauer... oh dear. They were all there, but none of them looked present. The rest of the cast, on the other hand, chewed the scenery like it was going out of style. So in many ways, this was a typical Argento joint. Alas.

Behind The Camera
It was almost like watching a SyFy Original Motion Picture, just less fun and far less entertaining. A woeful script written by committee, nearly comically mediocre digital effects, low-end practical effects, sets and lighting that looked as if they barely tried at all, and a lack of apparent cohesive vision to the project are what hurt this film. In short, this movie died while it was being made. There was nothing new in it, and there wasn't even anything out of Argento's really old and dated bag of tricks that was done well. Overall, it was a lesson in incompetence.

The Verdict
Remember Argento's heyday thirty years ago. That's all there is to do at this point. Avoid this film at all costs.

Three to start again...

"Frankenstein's Army" (2013)

World War 2 rages on, with the Communists storming through Eastern Germany, and while answering an advance unit's request reinforcement one Soviet unit finds far more than they ever bargained for, a secret Nazi lab in full swing making new kinds of super soldiers. The film's well made and fairly entertaining but does sag a bit in the middle, taking some too long playing one note before gearing up again for the run to the end. All in all, it really is a cut above average, even if just. Rentable.

"The Moleman of Belmont Avenue" (2010)

Two rather bumbling brothers have run their inherited brownstone apartment building into the ground, and adding to their woes, something's trying to eat every living thing in the place, starting with the tenants' pets. It lives in the basement, and it's up to the boys to stop the menace. It's not exactly a grabbing premise, and unfortunately the film keeps in line such. It's not a bad film. It's certainly not a good one, though Robert Englund stands out as Confab, a mildly creepy and at the same time cool older ladies man. The problem with the film is that only Englund seems to fire on all cylinders. Besides his performance and a few moments here and there, the film's really not that fun. Not recommended.

"Manborg" (2011)

I will only say that the poster says it all and that this film was made for $1,000 (Canadian). Beyond that, it's the best film on today's list and better than several I have reviewed on this blog. Watching it, it's the 1980s all over again. It's a marvelous pastiche. The nearly nonexistent budget is obvious in every frame, as is the ludicrous amount of fun, work, and love that went into it. "Manborg" is nothing but laugh-out-loud fun all the way through. It's definitely worth renting and/or buying.

Two night clerks alone in a soon-to-close old haunted inn. What could go wrong?

The Yankee Pedlar Inn is about to close after over a hundred years of business. Two clerks have desk duty for the last weekend. One of them is a mildly creepy but somehow almost lovably well-meaning guy who seems to be love with... his laptop, and the other is a rather cute, slightly clumsy, asthmatic young woman with a keen imagination and a desperate desire to... find the resident ghost. Oh, and Kelly McGillis is there, too. Between the tape recorder, the crystal, and the dark, locked basement what could possibly go wrong?

"The Innkeepers" (2011)
written and directed by Ti West.
starring Sara Paxton, Pat Healy, and Kelly MicGillis

How Is It?
It's old school horror and suspense, and it's done well. It's done really, really well.

The Players

All of the players in this film deliver spot-on performances, nothing over the top. Sara Paxton's Claire comes across pleasantly awkward, both socially and physically, and believably innocent, honest, and both serious and fun-loving. Pat Healy's Luke is quite believable also, never remotely unpleasant but with an understated and not well-hidden burden of loneliness. Kelly McGillis' Leanne rounds out the main character cast as the '80s tv celebrity turned mystical healer who is visiting the inn while touring on the convention circuit. The three work solidly together, as well as alone. Solid work all around in front of the camera.

Behind the Camera
Ti West can make a good movie. It was filmed on location in a real inn, and it was just the right place. West uses the interior geography of the place marvelously. It's homey and charming and quaint and all, and it's also a bit eerie, then pretty spooky, and then it's just plain sinister. And the real kicker is that it's never overdone, visually or audially. West keep the emphasis on atmosphere, ratcheting things up bit by both, punctuated with just the right amount of levity, and it winds up with the film really being, in my opinion, a course in how to make a haunted house movie. "Hometown Gothic" is how I would classify the film. For me it's reminiscent in feel to Robert Wise's 1963 classic, and quite possibly the finest haunted house movie ever made, "The Haunting", and that is high praise indeed.

The photography and lighting are good. The script is tight. The direction is top-notch.

The Verdict
I bought a copy the day after I watched it. It's a solid, dependable, excellent made film. It's a slow burn of a scare, and it's an excellent movie. "The Innkeepers" delivers. Highly recommended.

The Thursday List: Foreign Film Edition

"Once Upon a Time in the West" (1968)

Not only is the film that almost single-handedly breathed life back into westerns, it is quite likely legendary Italian film director Sergio Leone's best film... and widely regarded as one of the best, if not the best, western movie ever made. The combination of a strong story, interesting characters well portrayed, Leone's directing near-operatic style, and brilliant score by Ennio Morricone is marvelous and really fires on all thrusters. And Henry Fonda as Frank, in my opinion one of the best screen villains in all cinema, is amazing. This film isn't just a must-see for fans of westerns but also for film fans in general. This film is in my Top 100 and the Top 100 of many others as well. Highly recommended.

"The Devil's Backbone" (2001)

A horror film set in Spain in 1939, the last year of the Spanish Civil war, "The Devil's Backbone" is simultaneously a compassionate, heartfelt story of humanity, innocence, comradery, human frailty, and sacrifice and a story of greed, viciousness, corruption, fearful villainy, war, and murder. And a ghost story. Guillermo del Toro's work here delivers both a remarkable elegance and a pronounced and relentless dread. This film is in my Top 30 and is held in very high regard by a wide swath of moviegoers as well. It's a horror film, and beautiful, that you would do yourself a real favor to watch. Highly recommended.

"The Third Man" (1949)

At the crossroads of post-WW2 Germany, while the Cold War escalates almost quietly, a pulp novelist arrives to visit a friend and finds far more than a bargained for. "The Third Man" is regarded by many to be the best British film of the 20th century, and I am not inclined to disagree. It was brilliantly written by Graham Greene, skillfully and creatively directed by Carol Reed, and Orson Welles and Joseph Cotton, as well as the rest of the cast, deliver near perfect pitch performances. And then there's the memorable score, only one instrument, a zither. Shot simply and much on location in still war-damaged Vienna, the striking cinematography strongly complements the performances and lends enormous atmosphere. This film is in my Top 10. It's a classic. Highly recommended.

Coming Soon: "Twenty-One Questions" (2012)

Here is the trailer for a short film I'm in that was shot last October. It's by the folks at Strawhouse Pictures and should be out to festivals in October. It's a science fiction comedy that's generally a conversation between a time traveler and a bureaucrat. I play the bureaucrat.

Should the uploaded video be of a quality not suitable, you can go check it out on Vimeo here.

Enjoy.

Two Things: something cool and something dumb

The Cool Thing

In 2006 a cool movie got made. "Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon". It was a documentary about an aspiring serial killer, and some time during the movie the documentary turns into a slasher film itself. It was funny, had a wonderful and talented cast, was well written and well directed, and was a lot of fun.

Now the same production team wants to make a sequel, and I think it's a good idea, and I've pledged $50 to their Kickstarter campaign. Their studio is apparently nervous about making more horror, and so the "Behind the Mask" gang want to raise $450,000 to make the picture. (The original was made for $262,000.)


Here's the link their Kickstarter page: 


"Before the Mask: The Return of Leslie Vernon"

The Dumb Thing

For whatever reason, Blogger will not allow me to comment on any of my posts. Nothing seems to fix it so far, not clearing or resetting my browser, not anything. I'm not ignoring anyone whose commenting, not that there are many of you. I simply can't respond in the comments. More on this as/if it develops.

Now go pledge a few dollars to "Before the Mask".

Please.

Pretty please.

It'll be cool.

The Thursday List: Gangster Edition (International)

Kung Fu Hustle (2004)

This movie isn't simply a good story well told. This is my favorite martial arts film ever. It's well paced, with plenty of action, lots of laughs, and just the right amount of drama and suspense, and the special effects are all in service of the story, not simply there to look cool. On top of that it looks like the cast and crew really enjoyed making it, which is a plus in my book. It's a genuinely fun, enjoyable film. Highly recommended.

Snatch (2000)

A comedy of errors and omissions between a bunch of villains, ranging from truly bad men and men who desperately want to be truly bad but really aren't. It's a roller coaster, rapidly paced and a bit of a jigsaw. And funny. People get threatened and beat up and killed, but... yeah, it's a gritty crime comedy, with a marvelous cast, including Jason Statham, Benicio del Toro, Dennis Farina, and Stephen Graham. Alan Ford delivers a truly stand-out performance as Brick Top, the main villain and undeniably the film's Most Very Bad Man. This is one of my Top 10 Crime/Caper Films. Highly recommended.

Jackie Brown (1997)

Some may consider it heretical, but I consider this Quentin Tarantino's best film to date, not that his others have been exactly poor by any stretch of the imagination... except for maybe "Death Proof". It's got the trademark Tarantino pacing and dialogue, but the characters are by and large the most relatable and interesting of his works. It helps of course that the cast is stellar, particularly Robert Forrester, Pam Grier, Robert DeNiro, and Samuel L. Jackson, and they're working from a near-perfect script. High marks all around. Highly recommended.

The Thursday List - My Shelf Edition (again)

"The Ninth Gate" (1999)

Johnny Depp plays a rare book hustler/dealer who is hired by a ruthless billionaire bibliophile, played by Frank Langella, to authenticate a copy of a legendary occult book reputed to have been dictated by the Devil himself back in the seventeenth century. Hilarity, of course, ensues. Directed, produced, and co-written by Roman Polanksi, the film is well-written, stylish, suspenseful, and well made, and the cast is excellent. Many frown on the movie since it's not another "Rosemary's Baby", which itself is a film I believe highly, highly overrated. I believe "The Ninth Gate" is, I believe, quite underrated, and it is one of my personal occult favorites.

"Chinatown" (1974)

This is widely considered to be one of the best all around films ever made, for good reason. It's a Robert Towne script directed by Roman Polanski and starring Jack Nicholson, Faye Dunaway, and John Huston. To put it simply, the film is a master class in just about every aspect of filmmaking, a feat not accomplished by many. The story is engaging. Towne's script it tight and well-paced, as is Polanski's direction, and the cast is, as you might guess, superb. "Chinatown" is a must-see.

Coming Soon: a haunted house

"Sinister"

from Summit Entertainment

Ethan Hawke plays a novelist looking to write a great novel. He and his family can't afford to keep their old house, and so they move into another, cheaper one... one with a bloody history. Things go downhill. The trailer looks good, and so it's here. It piqued my interest, as it features Ethan Hawke and Vincent D'Onofrio.

Alien 5 (a.k.a. the first film)

A dying trillionaire sends a space mission to explore the possibility of meeting humanity's parent race on a distant, newly discovered planet. There are tunnels, shadows, slimy things, dupicitousness, and a big giant face. Hilarity, as ever, ensues on LV-223.

"Prometheus" (2012)

directed by Ridley Scott

written by Damon Lindelof and Jon Spaihts

starring Noomi Rapace, Michael Fassbender, Charlize Theron, Logan Marshall-Green, Idris Elba, and Guy Pearce

How it is?

I have to come right out with it. The visuals are amazing, but they can't cover up the problems with the script. (My inner scifi fanboy really hated to say that about "Prometheus", but there it is.)

The Players

At the top there are Michael Fassbender, Charlize Theron, and Idris Elba. Fassbender as the Weyland Corporation's premiere android model, David, steals the show. His is a touching and simultaneously sympathetic and casually menacing performance as the android who seems maybe to want to be human... or at least equal, more than a servant. Theron's portrayal of Vickers, the Corporation's no-nonsense executive representative on board the Prometheus, is spot on and arcs well over the course of the film. Idris Elba as Janek, the captain of the Prometheus, is as close to an everyman as the we get in the film, and his performance as the good captain brings a practical, grounded humanity to the film that is missing for the most part in other main characters.

At the other end of the spectrum there are Noomi Rapace and Logan Marshall-Green, but it's not necessarily a matter of lacking performances but rather cardboard characters as written. Rapace's character, Dr. Elizabeth Shaw, was the lynchpin of the whole mission, her theory of an extraterrestially seeded Earth. The theory was more interesting than the character, and the character seemed to be sort of another attempt at bringing scifi and movie fans another Ellen Ripley. Rapace/Shaw simply didn't get enough traction, what with everything else going on in the film. Marshall-Green's character, Shaw's love interest, Charlie Holloway, wasn't substantial enough a character for him to be much more than cardboard. That's not a fault of either and everything to do with the script. And then there's Guy Pearce as Weyland Corporation's aged namesake, Peter Weyland. Pearce manages well with the character through a lot of prosthetic makeup, although Weyland's presence is relatively slight, in both screen time and story contribution.

Behind the Camera

At the top there is Ridley Scott. He is an astonishing film director. With Dariusz Wolski (cinematographer) and Arthur Max (production designer) he made an amazing visual follow-up/prequel to the rest of the Alien franchise. The attention to detail, every little thing practical and digital, was as is his career reputation suggests, mightily impressive. The film moves along at a fair clip the whole way through, with appropriate rising and falling action so the audience gets neither exhausted or lost. Well, mostly neither. The kicker for the film is the writing is where it doesn't quite hold up.

At the other end of things, there are there's the writing. In a nutshell, Prometheus is either a bit overcomplicated or a bit shoddily written. The skeleton of the story is simple enough and intriguing. There were just too many layers added, for whatever reasons, by screenwriters Spaiht and Lindelof, and rather than an interesting ensemble of characters, each with contributions to make, there were a few interesting characters and some other ones thrown in because story formula demanded it. It just never really gels. (Gosh, my inner fanboy is reeling at this.) The writing simply doesn't measure up to Scott's direction and visual scale or what anyone was expecting, really, and that's a real shame.

The Verdict

Prometheus seemed to be more about asking questions than about characters being confronted by those questions and acting accordingly, which is what weakens it. It felt like a conflicted film, a strong visual sense that wanted to show things and get across ideas and a script that didn't know how to stage or explain them effectively so it tended to play with what were sometimes rather obvious tropes. I am notoriously unforgiving of what I believe to be slack or poor or substandard writing, especially from people who ought to know better, and Spaight and Lindelof's script is a decidedly average at best, and the rest of the film can't escape from it.

Due to the strength of the performances by Fassbender, Theron, and Elba and the combined expert visual and technical machinations of Scott and the production crew, the film still comes in looking better than average. It's just that it feels awfully forced in places, trying to cover over the things that really don't really work but were kept in anyway. Alas, the film couldn't live up to the hype.

an original web series premiered today on YouTube

"No Fourth Wall" 

(Episode 1)

"No Fourth Wall" is an original web series about three guys (seen above) who are working on starting what they hope to be a hit web series. It's dryly funny, which is always a plus for me, and well-paced. The episodes are going to be short. Episode 1 comes in at 7:14, and that's including credits on both sides and bloopers after the end credits. Go give it a look-see.

A Lonely Guy, Two Dead Women, and Three Guys and a Video Camera (It's not what you think.)

"The Woman in Black" (2012)

Technically well executed film, competently directed. Good story but average script. The film is quite atmospheric, gloomy, and visually delicious, but its shocks and scares were by and large stock and predictable and so not really shocking or scary. Excellent performances by the cast, Ciaran Hinds in particular, emphasize the gloom and mystery of the story, but oddly, the story itself didn't hang together well, especially with the ending that disappointingly didn't match the rest of the film. The 1983 book and the 1993 BBC radio drama are much more frightening and tightly written. Average.

"Chronicle" (2012)

Finally we have a 'found footage' movie that fires on all cylinders. It concentrates on telling a simple, good story very well. The characters are interesting and have reasonable arcs, and the script is generally quite tight. The cast is excellent, and the special effects are used to help in telling the story and not just there for spectacle. They are spectacular, however. It all comes together to make "Chronicle" much, much better than average. It's more than a science fiction special effects fiesta. It's a very interesting "What if?" story about human nature. Highly recommended.

The Thursday List: My Shelf Edition (Pt 4)

The Blues Brothers (1980)

As far as I know, this is the first movie to be made exclusively as a vehicle for cast members of Saturday Night Live, and it's the best one. In fact, it's one of the best, most fun comedies of the 1980s. It's got music, an off-the-wall but very dry sense of humor, and quite possibly one of the top three car chases in cinema history. It hits all right notes and deserves its status as a film classic.

The Bridge on the River Kwai (1957)

Out of all of the films that have been made only about six hundred have been selected to be inducted into the Library of Congress' National Film Registry. This is one of those films. Filmed on location and brilliantly directed and acted, it's engaging on various levels all the way through, and it's production quality is top-notch. It's a must-have for any cinephile's collection.

Casino Royale (1967)

Before Daniel Craig, Pierce Brosnan, Timothy Dalton, Roger Moore, and George Lazenby there was... David Niven. And Peter Sellers... Ursula Andress... Barbara Bouchet, Joanna Pettet, Terence Cooper, and Daliah Lavi -- all as James Bond 007... in the same film. Film historian said it was a "film of momentary vision, collaboration, adaptation, pastiche, and accident. It is the anti-auteur work of all time, a film shaped by the very zeitgeist it took on." In a nutshell: It was a lovably absurd, psychadelic parody of itself. It had multiple directors, several uncredited star cameos, an unusual number of script versions, a legendary feud, and eventually stood upon its release as one of the most expensive films ever made. It's amazing it was ever completed, and it's beautiful to see and lots of fun. Again, a classic.

Not really all that rad.

A group of Americans (and two Aussies) go with a former Russian Special Forces tour guide on an "extreme tour" near probably the most infamous man-made disaster site in history. What could possibly go wrong?

"Chernobyl Diaries" (2012)
directed by Bradley Parker
written by Oren Peli, Carey Van Dyke, Shane Van Dyke

starring Jonathan Sadowski, Jesse McCartney, Olivia Dudley, Devin Kelley, Dimitri Diatchenko, Nathan Phillips, Ingrid Bolso Berdal

How is it?

It never quite figure out what it wanted to be until about half an hour from the end -- when it was too late, and so it decided to be desperately predictable and average.

The Players

The actors and actresses did well with what they had, which were by and large cardboard characters. Up until the script just became overrun with so many cliches there was no room for originality they generally managed to make things interesting. Dimitri Diatchenko as Uri the Extreme Tour Guide gave the best performance by far in the film, and it was genuinely a downer when Uri went the way of all tour guides in horror films. The film lacked a great deal once he was gone, which was too soon.

Behind the Camera

The film has a very good visual sense. Director Bradley Parker knows visuals. This is his directorial debut, after working in visual effects since the very late 1990s. And oddly, it's the atmosphere of the film that lets it down. Parker never really commits to the horror but leaves it just out of camera range or just out of focus in the dark, and so the movie audience never gets the roller coaster effect, only a series of close calls, dark corners, and the characters experiencing mounting horror without the audience being in it with them. The audience gets drowned in atmosphere until about the last half hour when things start moving quickly, just in very formulaic ways, and when the ending comes it's just... well, there, having been expected. It's not all Parker's fault.

It's Oren Peli's. He's the man who brought Paranormal Acitivies 1, 2, 3 and soon 4. His general schtick is the horrors being left to audience imagination, and that can work really well for some things. With this film it comes across rather forced, as a gimmick. The story is interesting at first, but the screenplay doesn't serve it well. By the end it's down to clicking off the ticky boxes for horror movie conventions, and the audience doesn't really care because there's nothing new or original about it. It's just there. It's almost perfectly average.

The Verdict

"It's almost perfectly average." That really covers it. It's worth a see if you can pay $5 like I did to see it matinee and you're into the genre. Otherwise wait for it to be on Netflix streaming in two or three months.

another peek at "The Avengers"

a clip from Marvel's "The Avengers"

-- Loki imprisoned, chats with Nick Fury --

"The Avengers" hits U.S. movie theaters on May 5.

Leaving on a jet plane... for a week

I will be heading out bright and early in the morning to go to the airport.

So...

Happy Easter.

See you soon.

Don't Be Afraid of Watching Something Else

For reasons we never really get to know a little girl we really never get to know or care about gets sent to live with her not terribly supportive, workaholic architect dad and his designer/girlfriend in a big giant spooky house that turns out to have awful little mischievous and bloodthirsty CG creatures in the basement. Hilarity via predictability and narrative paltriness ensues.

"Don't Be Afraid of the Dark" (2011)
directed by Troy Nixey
written by Guillermo del Toro and Matthew Robbins
starring Guy Peace, Katie Holmes, and Bailee Madison

How Is It?

To put not too fine a point on it, it's rather flat, all told. It's designed beautifully and looks great, but most of the story and script are rather tired. There are a few good bits here and there, but overall... it's generally a rather ineffective gimmick movie.

The Players

If Guy Pearce had enough screen time in it or if his character was terribly important, which you would think would have been the case, I could tell you how he did. He did alright as an archetype, the Career Success Oriented And Not Terribly Empathetic Father. Katie Holmes manages well as the Awkward Girlfriend/Surrogate Mother Who Doesn't Feel She's Ready To Be A Mother But Finally Finds The Strength When The Kid Is In Danger. To give credit where it's due, both did alright with the material they had to work with. The movie belonged to Bailee Madison, who played the Misunderstood And Terribly Socially Awkward But Allegedly Quite Bright Child, who was let down by two things. One was a woefully ordinary and overly long script for the story. The other was she couldn't carry it and didn't have any help in the effort, primarily from the script and direction.

Behind the Camera

The film looks great. The sets are very nice and lit and shot pretty well. The shots are well framed, and the movie has atmosphere. And the creatures look good. Troy Nixey's first feature length film looks good. It's just not got much in the way of substance, and it feels maybe like it's maybe twenty or thirty minutes too long. There is too much wandering in the dark, too much spotty lighting, too much emphasis on looking mysterious without there really being any mystery whatsoever. It's not so much a haunted house film as it is a mouse hunt, which is a real let down, and much of it has to do with the script.

The script is subpar. There. I said it. There's not enough story for its hour and a half, and the story that we get is, well, more than a bit hackneyed. It pains me to say this about a script by Guillermo del Toro, who is one of my favorite directors and storytellers and a true artist of the macabre, but the script, by and large, is just painfully below average. The characters are cardboard and not original, plain and simple. The scares, or what passes for them, come quite by the numbers and are for the most part visible from miles away. And the whole thing reeks of melodrama and fails to establish even an internal reality beyond "This is supposed to be scary." The script is the foundation, and it doesn't work well.

The Verdict

A very weak script in the hands of a novice director has the odds against it at the outset. "Don't Be Afraid of the Dark" didn't beat the odds. The few good moments it had weren't enough to hold my attention as a viewer. Honestly, if I had not been watching it to review it, I would have switched it off before the thirty minute mark.

Not frightening. Dreadfully predictable. Characterless. Uninspiring. Not recommended.